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Junicho – Link #4 (2 lines) – verse / shasei

17 Apr

fan rotors beat
The End
to the smell of napalm

(Chloe Callistemon)

Link #4 (2 lines) – verse / shasei

his ashes
close to the road that ran through his life

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2 Comments

Posted by on 17 April, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Junicho – Link #4 (2 lines) – verse / shasei

  1. gnunn

    17 April, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    I love this image JdUb. I wanted to remove the repetition of his and this as a suggestion:

    ashes close to the road
    that ran through his life

    Love to hear your thoughts on this…

    G

     
    • JdUb

      18 April, 2013 at 11:18 pm

      she shakes her head
      his ashes close to
      the main road of their life

      does that work as a three liner? is the ‘mainroad of his / their life’ an improvement on ‘the road that ran through’?

       

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